Thu. Oct 24th, 2019

Read 4 Fun

Read the short reviews, read the book, comment

Please Do Not Publish Such Annoying Work

4 min read

Behind Every Mean Girl There’s a Tragedy by Hermione Daguin is a Young Adult novel that I do not want my teenage son to read. Rachael is a disturbed and distressed individual in her own right and would be distressing to most readers. That is only my opinion. The first approximately 80% of the novel is a steady downhill spiral into self-pity and horribly bad social behavior. Readers are invited to excuse Rachel’s behavior because there is a secret in her past. Many readers will correctly assume what it is, a form of abuse, but will be surprised by the people involved. Who are the abusers, who are the enablers?

This would be a good novel, even though it is dark if it weren’t for the horrible failure of English language writing mechanics. In a time when Microsoft Word Spell and Grammar Check is pretty much available to all, there is no excuse for the errors in this novel. Grammarly also has a free component that would have picked up almost all errors I spotted. Failure to use freely available tools is disrespectful to the reader.

These errors irritated me so much that I highlighted most of them with a source location. The final document was six pages and does not include possible errors that I thought could be due to intentional author creativity or that could be considered correct in another context. The following is a list where I leave out the source location in the interest of brevity. I have the full document on file. If the author contacts me I will forward the source locations.

I’m the one who usually do the bullying.

I make another attempt to flea this room

they were all accident.

dad laughs but Jenny’s not amuse.

“I check twice already.

I climb inside the expensive Porsha my mom had bought me

His posture has considerably worsen.

How can someone as cruel as me still breathe and take in the oxygen that good people are being deprive of?

“Alice in Wonderlands. You’ve never finished that one.”

They haven’t stop bothering me with questions

“I’m impress.

She closes the door and settle in the black leather chair.

The knowledge that I’m going to crack makes shudder run down

I reply irritate at the breach of my privacy.

“I still don’t understanding the reason behind you bargaining inside my room.”

snatches me by my waist and drag me further away from my death.

My body eventually slums down with fatigue.

The room is nothing compares to the ones found in conventional hospitals.

She has check the “Naughty List”

life as an only child with two cousin that I haven’t seen for over five years so

The exercising time terminates before I even shade a sweat.

“I don’t know why he haven’t.

I’ve finally tune out Sarah and Kenny but now there are no other sounds.

“You can take as much times as you want.”

he didn’t hurried home with his big police car and sirens to rescue us.

out that her life is as mess up as mine if not even worst.

“No TV before your homework are done,”

“Yes, they’re inside your room on your bed so you can’t miss them.”

            I have no idea what this sentence means.

My feet are halfway off the ground when Brandon rapidly hurl me back. “Wait!”

The tissue box fly and hit the wall.

“Your guilt was lessen so you came back to live the good life with your brother.”

The little bit of hope left in him die instantly.

“Daddy always said has to be proud to tell others where we come from,”

“I wanted to know if it’s going to always going to be like that,”

“You being all bubbly and happy because that’s kind of defeat my purpose in this friendship.”

from ear to ear as she pulls me pass the mall’s glass double doors.

“You haven’t visited San Francisco if you haven’t shop at Westfield San Francisco Centre.”

The number and variety of mistakes above led to my assignment of a low rating. If not for all of the above, the story would have gotten a four-star rating due to content interest and creativity. With the errors above, I give it a two-star rating to express my annoyance with the publication of such an ill-prepared piece of work.


4 thoughts on “Please Do Not Publish Such Annoying Work

  1. My inner editor would not have allowed me to progress past the first few chapters in an attempt to save her sanity. Well done for completing the novel and providing feedback that I hope will prove constructive.

  2. Over the last few years, my editing alter-ego — I call her Miss Prissy — has provided a lot of free proofreading for authors. Whether friends or strangers, in every instance they have accepted Miss Prissy’s well-meant finger-wagging gratefully, though she is sometimes insufferable and by no means infallible. That said, this level of reader disrespect would have made even Miss Prissy give up! I hope the author will understand that you are HELPING! This is no small thing!

    1. I looked at your full post and you made several interesting points that prompt thought. As to my comments on the incomplete effort at writing that I posted, there is a positive note. The author has contacted me directly and I am providing her with reference points and reasons why so many of her lines were deficient. She did admit that she used no editing instrument but plans to republish a more finished project in the near future.
      A final point you made was that you found it difficult to get lost in reading a good book these days. I find this a bit unfortunate and hope it is not the ultimate fate of good writers. You write good books (even though Dell Zero was not my usual reading genre). I look forward to reading more of your books and getting caught up in the stories as they progress.

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