Help! Proofreading and Editing Needed Urgently!

 

NOTE (NOT REALLY A WARNING)

I try to be positive with reviews. I have less than ten reviews out of six hundred that I consider negative. For me, a negative review is either one or two Amazon stars. Rather than give one or two-star reviews, I prefer to abandon the book early. Occasionally I find a novel with an interesting idea written by an author who appears to have the qualifications and knowledge to be a writer but the offered publication is sloppy and annoying. The novel then finds its way into that small group of approximately ten. This is the case with Into the Vault. For the most part, I will let the work speak for itself.

The tagline or subtitle that made me download this book was: “A psychological thriller about a young woman locked in a life that she does not recognize.” I can’t completely identify with the problem as I am neither a woman nor young but I think many readers can identify with being confined in a box that is not of their own making. Into the Vault by Marie Ellie has more than one interesting premise. Readers will have to read the entire novel to find some of the more interesting ideas as they appear at the end of the novel. Although the label “psychological thriller” is justified, I found reading to the novel’s conclusion a tortuous journey and considered returning the purchase to Amazon. The idea of getting a refund of USD 0.99 was too embarrassing for me so I wrote off the loss.

This story has many twists and turns but I don’t feel it necessary to attempt any summary of the story. Proofreading and Editing problems overwhelm the tale. A basic grammar and spell check program would detect many of the mistakes during the first round of proofreading. Some confusing phrasing would give editors pause. Ones I use as an example are only a small representation of the great number of errors. I chose blue as my highlight color for things that stopped and confused me. When I finished reading, I realized there was no way I could (or would want to) write a review listing all errors; the length of the review would consume too much of my time. What follows is the novel speaking for itself.

PROOFREADING

What does disrespectful man think? (Kindle Location 899)

Charles’s car is outside, I ran to it, deactivate the alarm, I enter and start the engine. (Kindle Location 1523)

I have not had this vibrations in my body for a long time. (Kindle Location 1373)

FOR EDITING

I can say that the best thing does not have a clock and when then being happy when you leave the hospital not to have lost all the time that you thought and realizing that it was actually less. (Kindle Location 740)

The front passenger, whose name I still don’t know, opens the door for Andrew and me is already there taking my arm again. (Kindle Location 897)

“Good luck Charles and thank you…” I said after taking a deep breath and jumping on him all at once for the satisfaction that he’d given me that meeting and the worry that something bad was going to happen. (Kindle Location 1385-1387)

I park the car right in front, it’s almost 10:00 pm and I’m hungry. Under the car the office is empty, (Kindle Locations 1529-1530)

I help him out by lifting my feet a little while he takes them off. (Kindle Locations 1379-1380) NB: This was not meant to be a horror story.

As I approached the end of the story, I looked forward to reading the author background material. Was this written by a non-native user of English? I teach English as a Second Language (ESL). My Intermediate level students use (and write) English at the level I observed in this work. This is what I found:

AUTHOR

After high school, she felt in love with all about businesses, (Kindle Locations 1886-1887)

This young lawyer started with a couple of fiction stories without any intention of publish them, but she finally decide that was time to publish her work to become a self-published writer and not only a voracious reader. (Kindle Locations 1889-1891)

I do not recommend this novel unless there is further editing. I gave it two Amazon stars rather than one because the ideas central to the story are creative.

 

 

 

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