We Have Seen the Future. Be Afraid.

johnhain at Pixabay

Found this on a blog I follow a lot. I was impressed. My “reblog” button gets me nowhere so I end up doing a cut and paste of what I think are relevant parts. For the full effect of this post (with animations and side note annotations) go to

All Hail The Orange King!

Then follow the blog. There are original thoughts that (thankfully) do not dwell on this national travesty.

After their so-called ‘summit’ I realized maybe it wasn’t a joke.

When Russian President Vladimir Putin said the United States should host the World Cup in 2026, I started thinking that if it happens, it will be with a different looking “free nation.”

Never mind learning Spanish in schools, you better start brushing up on Russian adverbs. Hell, like French here in Canada, Russian might end up as the official second language” of America.

And speaking of Canada, a wall shall be built, but it won’t be on the Mexican border. It will be from Vancouver Island and Bellingham all the way to New Brunswick and Maine. Americans and Canadians will have to respectfully keep their distance.

Goods coming from Canada will be contraband; no more of that pesky Canadian lumber and security-threat steel. Oh, and dishwasher detergent. Apparently that’s a biggy. Americans will not have to endure their pot-smoking, tariff-retaliating liberal-thinking socialist neighbours anymore. Especially since Trump and Co. filed a complaint to WTO regarding Canada’s retaliatory tariffs. Apparently, that ‘dishonest and weak’ Trudeau doesn’t realize that it’s okay to start a trade war based on false “security issues,” but it’s absolutely illegal for countries to retaliate.

And Americans won’t have to worry about Mexico either. Absolutely NO immigrants allowed into the new USA (unless they’re needed of course). Those whiny kids in cages that everyone was so worried about will be given free room and board while they help build the Canadian wall and mine for coal because, dammit, those jobs won’t work themselves!

Of course Trump and Co. have many other brilliant ideas: Americans will take all of those jobs that are no longer filled by those filthy illegals. They won’t have a choice if they want Medicaid and food stamps. There we have it! A win-win situation. Low wages or no wages in exchange for “free medical” helps everyone in America! Isn’t the Orange King a genius?

And there will be plenty of jobs because all those regulations protecting waterways and land will be destroyed and The Orange King’s friends who own all of the big companies will need people to mine and leech for centuries to come.

What about the cost of education? Solved. Who needs to be educated? Fox News, “Fox & Friends” and the evangelical church will be all the education young boys will need (girls won’t need an education as they will be married, barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen before they can say ‘Stormy Daniels’). Boys will be working or learning to march for all the military parades over which the Orange King will preside.

And no more money wasted on campaigns for midterms or re-elections. The Great Orange King no longer requires those, which solves the problem of voter fraud and allowing ingrate women to even fill out a voter registration card.

Seriously, the budget just balances itself with the Almighty Arrogant One at the helm of the Free World.

Speaking of the world, the United States will no longer be helping those who have taken advantage of their good nature in the past. The American Piggy Bank is closed to outsiders. If a nation needs something from the U.S., it better step up and lavish the Orange King with gifts and praise.

His fearless sidekick, Vlad Putin, the man who puts the Royal in Russian Royalty, will be out there making sure everyone bows down to the great nation. Vlad will be checking in via cyber-hacking and social media catfishing to monitor those countries that don’t want to learn from the American example.

That goes for our local and federal law enforcement, too. No more deadly school shootings and unarmed black men being shot by cops on the nightly news. The only shootings that take place will be by the Amazing Russian-American Army, and those boys never miss!

The combined military will be the cause of great patriotic pride with fancy new fleets and shiny missiles. All of the money wasted on FBI, CIA, DOJ and those crooked cronies will now go the Orange King’s Amazing Russian-American Army!

And just wait until the renovations are finally finished on that dump of a White House.  Now that place was a real ‘shithole’! Once Trump and Co. is finished with it, it will be like the founding fathers never even existed.

All Hail America! All Hail Our Great Orange King!

If this little piece of satire causes shock and dismay, then I say good. It should.

Because all jokes aside, if the people and the politicians who actually have a conscience don’t stand up and FIGHT against the current administration, I fear many of these points of satire will become the new reality.

As exhausting as it is, we cannot let Trump and his cronies grind us down into silence or submission. We must carry on for the good of democracy not only in the U.S., but the entire world.

 

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